Sunday, May 16, 2010

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

This book may just change my life.  I really think it is something everyone should read.

In this book Gary Chapman lays out the five distinct love languages we use to express love:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time


Acts of Service

Physical Touch

He says that we all have a "love tank" and when that "love tank" is empty we feel unloved and it is hard for us to love our spouses because we don't feel loved by them.  And everyone needs to feel like they are loved!

There are quizzes in the back of the book to help you determine your primary love language.  This is what you need from someone to feel loved.  Mine was Words of Affirmation.  It wasn't the one I would have guessed, but it makes complete sense now that I know it.

I do need to have words of affirmation from my partner.  I need them to tell me I'm smart and pretty and that they love me.  I think my last two relationships failed because I didn't get that.

My last boyfriend never told me he loved me and at a lot of points in the relationship I felt like he just did not want to hear my opinion on anything which made me feel like he thought I was stupid or something.  I can't remember him ever telling me I was pretty either.  I lost a lot of my self-esteem and confidence in that relationship.

The guy I dated before that was different.  He did write some of the sweetest things ever to me.  He did tell me I was pretty.  But he never came out and said he loved me until after HE broke up with me.  I swear I will never understand guys.

I wasn't totally blameless in either of those relationships.  I did not show them or tell them how much I loved them either.  Love kind of scares me, because I have had so many heartbreaks.  I am physically tired of getting my heart broken so it makes me so scared to start anything new.

After reading this book though, I feel like I know what I need now and even better I know how to show love more effectively.  I really think everyone should read this book!

And even though it was written for married couples, the same principles apply to every loving relationship you have from your parents, to your friends, to your children.  I think knowing how to give love is a very important trait to have and after reading this book I think I will be much more effective at making the people in my life feel loved.

I give this one 5 out of 5 stars!

The Day I Shot Cupid by Jennifer Love Hewitt

I have always liked Jennifer Love Hewitt.  I loved her back on Party of Five and I love her now on Ghost Whisperer.  I mean I am not a raving fan, but I have really liked her.  Somehow it brings me comfort to know that someone that pretty and successful still has bad luck in love sometimes and is still single.

Her book, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello My name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic is so cute.  Granted I did not care for the graphics on the cover and used throughout the book.  It makes it seem more of a sex book than a cute, funny book on dating and trying to find love.

Here is a description of the book from

For any woman who has ever bought a self-help book and wondered why she bothered. (P.S. Now that I know he's just not that into me, where do I go from there? Yeah, thanks for that advice.)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a self-proclaimed "love-aholic" and hopeless romantic (her middle name is Love, after all!). She has been lucky and unlucky in love, and lived to tell--and she's done it all in the spotlight. Much has been written about her love life--some true, most made up to sell magazines. Now Hewitt shares the real story of what she's learned navigating the dangerous dating waters.

In The Day I Shot Cupid, Hewitt offers her hard-won wisdom and tells us how to embrace love with both feet on the ground. First, we have to shoot Cupid. We have to believe that happily-ever-after is hard work--it's not all flowers and symphonies and floating hearts.

Wise and wry and refreshingly honest, Hewitt talks about how to pick the right guy and how to know when to let the wrong ones go free, and she offers some surprising truths about the opposite sex.

From twenty things to do after a breakup, to ten things to do before a date, to the perils of text flirting (Note: You are waiting. By the phone. For his response.), Hewitt uses stories and dating secrets to illustrate the idiotic, romantic, crazy, depressing, hilarious, awkward, glorious moments we all experience in relationships. Funny, quirky, and empowering, The Day I Shot Cupid deserves a place on every woman's nightstand, bookshelf, or coffee table, or tucked inside her oversized designer handbag.

It is a really cute and funny book.  Her story about getting Vagazzalied was freaking hilarious.  I also loved all her cute titles to the chapters.  She also included fun little extras like 10 Hardcore Truths about Men and 20 Things to do After a Break-up.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Secret Society Girl: An Ivy League Novel by Diana Peterfreund

I like reading stories about secret societies. I don't know much about if any real ones exists or what they are like, but it makes for some really good fiction.

In this story Amy Haskel-who is the editor of one of the smaller publications on campus- gets tapped for a secret society, just not the one she was expecting. She was expecting to spend her senior year as a member of Quill & Ink. Every other editor has been in Quill & Ink, but instead she gets tapped by one of the most powerful secret societies on campus- Rose & Grave (think Skull & Bones).

She never expected this because a) why would they tap her? Most of the members are known for the wealth, power, and "ins" with powerful people. She does not fit that description. And b) they have never been known to have any female members.

You get to read about the "tapping" process and her initiation- which are interesting. She struggles keeping it all a secret from her roommate/best friend and the guy she is seeing.

Then as with any organizations an issue emerges. Apparently this is the first class that has had females and the alums are not happy about. They use their power and influence to start to intimidate the new class and the class that decided to open the society up to females.

Overall it was a good, quick read. It made me think about gender issues and reminisce about my old sorority days.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars.
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